GETTING OLDER - LAUGHTER

Forwarded 

Getting Older 

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers..

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the 'John' and renamed it the 'Jim'. I feel so much better saying "I went to the Jim this morning".

Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have grey hair; I have "wisdom highlights" I'm just very wise.

Don't ever ask me to bend down and touch my toes.  If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators We haven't met yet.

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes when I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) 

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.

- I don’t have to go to school or work.

- I have a driver’s license and my own car.

- I get an allowance every month.

- I have my own ipad (although I can't recall where I kept it)

- I don’t have a curfew.

Life is great.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.

 Now, I’m wondering…did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

Have a good chuckle. Laughter is

A good Medicine

S E N I O R    C I T I Z E N S - 2021

▪When you get old, never teach anyone anything, unless requested, even if you are sure you are right. 

▪Do not try to help unless asked for. Just be ready & available for it if possible.

▪️Do not give unsolicited opinion all the time.

▪️Do not expect everyone to follow your opinion, even though you feel your opinion was the best...

▪Don't impose yourself on anyone on any subject. 

▪Don't try to protect your loved ones from all the misfortunes of the World. Just love them & pray for them.

▪Don't complain about your health, your neighbours, your retirement, your woes all the time.

▪Don't expect gratitude from children. 

▪There are no ungrateful children, there are only stupid parents, who expect gratitude from their children. 

▪Don't waste your last money on anti - age treatments. It's useless.

▪Better spend it on a trip. It's always worth it.

▪Take care of your spouse, even if he/she becomes a wrinkled, helpless and moody old person. Don't forget he/she was once young, good looking and cheerful, may be he/she is the only one who really needs you right now.

▪Understand new technologies, obsessively follow the News, constantly study something new, a new skill, a new dish, a new indoor game, do not fall behind in time. 

▪Don't blame yourself for whatever happened to your life or to your children's lives, you did everything you could.

▪Preserve your dignity & integrity in any situation, till the end. 

▪Do your best, my senior Peers. This is very important. Remember, you're still alive, someone needs you. Do your best & leave the rest to The Almighty.

▪I guess some friends are already following these tips. 

Stay Happy, Live Happy.